Question:
Could someone read through this essay for me? It is really important! I really appreciate it if you can help!?
I would really appreciate it if you could! Please give any tips or comments, THANK YOU!
It is suppose to be an expository on this topic- ‘Keeping an open mind allows for growth’
Keeping an Open Mind Allows for Growth
Have you ever wondered how keeping an open mind has affected people and the world? Well, it has allowed us to grow by developing our views, and improving our knowledge. Society and its views are very complicated in nature, and it all depends on open minds in order to allow for growth. The world is constantly changing with new ideas, trends, new innovations and advancing technology, and it has been our open minds that has allowed those things to grow to the proportions as we know it today.
For people, having an open mind allows room for growth which acts as medicine towards our psychological health. When we keep an open mind, we allow ourselves to experience methods and ideas from the old and traditional, and, the new and modern. When people are exposed to those methods and ideas, they can experience other religions and cultures allowing them to be mentally rich. From this, they can sort and dispose of those traditional behaviours that restrain them from their own personal development. One example is, many people do not accept the idea of buying domestic and trans-border airplane tickets online because they are not willing to change or try a new method, or that they are afraid that someone will steal their credit card number through the internet. However, if they were open to the idea of buying airplane tickets online, not only would they learn that it is 100% safe, they would save a lot of time, get a better deal, and save the to booking fee (because most airlines in North America do not pay commission to travel agencies).
In the global society, having an open mind is a key factor towards growth. The change in segregation of people with different skin colour and race is a good example of how keeping an open mind has allowed for growth. There is obvious evidence that there has been significant growth in this topic, since many years ago, discrimination against people with different skin colour or race was quite heavy and more dramatic than it is today.
Technology is another area affecting the global world, that has flourished due to having an open mind. In the technological market, a prime example is Apple’s iPhone. While other phone companies were focused on creating one type of phone, Apple came out with fresh new ideas such as a multi-touch screen interface, the ability to download applications directly to the device and its many other features all at an affordable price, which has allowed them to dominate the smartphone market as we speak. Almost every company is now trying to compete with Apple which has never competed in the phone market until the iPhone came out, which was a huge success.
Having an open mind is absolutely essential for growth in ourselves and in a the global society. Without open minds, new innovations, technologies and new ideas would not have succeeded, and the world would not have grown at the rate that we have. Both of the previous examples required open minds in order to develop and flourish. Continued growth is only possible through open minded thinking and continued support for growth.
I’m 15 and grade 10
Best answer:
Answer by kittykt
I think it would be helpful to know your age and/or what grade level you are in to give you an accurate opinion.
One point I noticed immediately is that your essay is factually inaccurate. It is not 100% safe to make purchases online, for example.
Also, it would be helpful to use other descriptions for “open mindedness” throughout your essay; the term is used excessively. Perhaps you could use “unprejudiced, liberal, free, balanced, broad, objective, reasonable, enlightened, tolerant, impartial, receptive, unbiased, dispassionate, fair-minded, broad-minded or undogmatic” to replace some of the repetitive uses of “open-minded”. Of course, this is just a suggestion. Good luck!
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